I keep refreshing my e-mail inbox with hopes that maybe something will magically pop up. Part of me is in disbelief that the way I found out about my ex-husband’s engagement is from a screen shot a friend sent Sunday morning. It’s been over 24 hours, and maybe 5 out of our remaining 250 mutual friends or acquaintances have reached out to ask how I’m doing. That kind of feels like swallowing a pill without any water. It’s a relief that we don’t follow one another on social media so I can’t see which of those people, who know what ultimately ended our marriage, continue to say one thing about him to me, and then turn around to openly support him. That’s pretty confusing, and unfair to both of us.
You can block out as many things in your life as you want to. Eventually the right moment will find you when you aren’t looking for it, or the right person is going to ask the right question that’s going to bring it back. It trickles in, in bits and pieces. Maybe it’s a 5 second moment on the trail that you identify a certain feeling. You don’t process it, but acknowledge that it’s there. Then one day it hits you like a ton of bricks. How did I not see or remember that?
I interrupt this quarterly life lately update/6 month past due race report schedule to finally bring you something that doesn’t involve me mentioning wanting to dry heave my mighty oats at a start line or an unattached life update in bullet point format. Over the last year I’ve turned over the idea if I wanted to start blogging again many times.
Standing at the start line of Silver Rush 50 I could feel nervousness vibrating throughout my entire body. That sensation had started well before the start line, and choking down my oatmeal at breakfast had been quite the chore. There may have been a struggle with a few dry heaves. Eventually I gave up on the oatmeal, and got the rest of my calories via Tailwind Nutrition.
Life became a little interesting after the Leadville Marathon. A trip to Dr. Barnes confirmed that I indeed had a broken rib. Small everyday tasks that we don’t normally think twice about were excruciating. Lucky for me I was able to stay at a friend’s place for a week after where I had some much needed help.
I’ve put off writing this post for so long, because as we all know, sometimes it’s hard to put crazy experiences into words. It’s no secret that home girl has some serious love for Leadville. The town itself has its own quaint little charm, and what surrounds it is truly majestic. My introduction to ultra running started here, and my interest in ultra running essentially grew here as well. There will always be a special place in my heart for Leadville!
The week of June 8th I was finally given the “OK, GO!” to start incorporating speed work back into my training at 50-60% percent effort depending on how things felt. Once I was finally cleared to gradually start running again after my ski injury, I was mainly running for distance and doing a bunch of hiking at a decent effort. What does one do when they get cleared for some speed work? Get stoked, and say “YES” when the topic of toeing a line comes up in conversation for that same weekend.. as you do.
Well, hello there friends. I keep promising that I’ll post more often, or delete this thing entirely, and I can’t seem to commit to either of them. I renewed the blog for another year, so please enjoy your quarterly update…
In case you missed it… let me bring you up to speed….
I was dying to get back out there sooner than later and waiting another 1.5 months for another crack at SOMETHING after my second DNF of the summer just seemed too far off to figure things out and “make it right.”